


The Corruption Of The Good Lord Hatrack Helmetslut

by ApocalypseThen



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bawdy victorian dialogue, Community: tfa_kink, F/F, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 03:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17092985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApocalypseThen/pseuds/ApocalypseThen
Summary: Phasma and Unamo relieve stress through roleplay. The general would not be amused.





	The Corruption Of The Good Lord Hatrack Helmetslut

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the TFA kink meme:
> 
> http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/4613.html?thread=11849221#cmt11849221

Phasma entered the room where Unamo was waiting, already in character. She controlled the urge to laugh at the sight of Unamo's severe ginger wig and false nose. Her girlfriend had upped her game. She slammed the door behind her to hide her amusement, and they were off.

"My good lord Helmetslut, what ails you that you comport yourself thus, gravid and bellicose?" inquired Unamo in the false high cadence of the general.

"Ah but tis nothing to concern you, dear ginger-pubed friend, for my troubles are so vast and deep and meaty, no man can aid me," replied Phasma, using a tone that oscillated dramatically between weary and whiny.

"Then it is quite the stroke of luck for you today, my beloved Sir Hatrack, for I am no man. Behold the smoothness of my skin and the bounteous curve of my bosom, once I am released from the confines of my regulation corsetry."

"Ah, regulation corsetry, fashioned from the ribs of the dead footsoldiers of the Empire. Although I never knew it, I am melancholy for it, I pine for it, I say."

"I am not unreceptive to your desires, O Helmet, my Helmet. Together we shall forge a new Empire, and I shall give it to you. As often as possible."

"But, good sir, I am so moody. Far too moody to respond to your attempts to tickle my funny-bone."

"In truth, twas not your funny-bone that was my target, but quite another bone, although I grant you, it is a funny one."

"No, no, a thousand times no, I shall not be seduced by a redheaded transvestive. It is unbecoming."

"Would but you unbuckle your armor, and I shall soon have you becoming and begoing."

"I am quite sure that is not a word known to the Empire's Modern Dictionary."

"If it is the dictionary that concerns you, my Lord, then let us proceed alphabetically. Breastplate before gauntlets."

"Stay your hand, madam, for beneath my armor is concealed a terrible secret that would have you blushing to the roots of your coarse red hairs."

"As I have shown you mine, my lord, it is only right that you reciprocate."

"By the fates! You challenge my masculine honor. I am in a bind. I must now admit that I too am of the female sex, and therefore am not bound by such things, and so I need not admit of it... you see my predicament."

"Oh! My Lord! Or should I say, my Lady! Thank the stars. I confess, I was perturbed to find myself attracted to a male of the species when I have long been an exclusive devotee of the of teachings of the sapphic Sith sorceress Ventress. This is quite a relief. And lo! This explains your general mood of moodiness, as well."

"You insult me madam. My femininity is no joke! I demand satisfaction!"

"It shall be my pleasure, Lady Fuckhelmet. Do you mind if I kneel?"

Further dialogue seemed unnecessary to both participants.


End file.
